Whenever I get the urge to contact you, to reconnect with you…I simply remind myself what you put me through.  How you altered me so irrevocably.  I will never let myself be in that position again.  Never let myself be that vulnerable again.  I gave you power over me.  By no longer caring about you I took that power away.  I’m afraid of missing you.  I’m afraid of talking to you.  Because if I give, even a little bit, I know you’ll work your way back in.  And I’m not strong enough to live through that again.